“Ester, your words sneak in past all my objections, cynicisms and suspicions to find my wisdom mind and heart, and seep in there...crack, shatter, I feel old stuff breaking off and falling away. Yours is the voice I hear now. And I think...maybe there's a chance for me to heal. Yes. Thank you, thank you. I am filled with gratitude for your voice, for every message, for every word...” - private client
Is Your Inner Child Choosing The Love of Your Life?
What part of your consciousness is doing the choosing when it comes to the intimate partnerships in your life? Is it the inner wounded child (who can only attract another wounded child) or the emotionally balanced and mature adult.
Bet you've never thought about that, have you?
Well perhaps from a place of self-forgiveness, compassion and microscopic honesty, it's time to give this question some deep and serious thought.
In this past year and a half I have had the opportunity to heal the deepest pain I've ever experienced in my life with the exception of my father's transition when I was sixteen years old - so you can imagine...
But the gifts I've received from asking myself the hard questions, contemplation, meditation and forgiveness have been priceless - and because of the gifts I've received, I wouldn't change my journey for anything in the world.
Nothin' Broken Here
There are many of us in this world who have come from so-called "broken" families, have experienced bias and discrimination based on someone else's opinion or judgment, out of their own false sense of "brokenness." We have all experienced an erroneous sense of unworthiness, not-enoughness and inadequacy - a feeling that something was missing, damaged and broken about us.
How did that happen? How did we, as perfect expressions of God invest so much of our energy into thinking we were so badly damaged that we didn't even deserve the infinite inexhaustible love of the divine? How did we become so hypnotized by the illusion of separation that we fell asleep to a love that is so unconditional and ever available, it would bring us to our knees in humility, awe and gratitude if we just remembered who we really were?
We were brainwashed. Not out of some conspiracy thing. No, the Universe is only conspiring for us to wake up and accept our birthright of beauty and wholeness. When I say brainwashed, it's not in an attempt to blame anyone, or even blame ourselves, but it happened. We misperceived something at some point in our lives, like maybe our parents divorcing, and deciding it was our fault, or some snotty nosed kid (who was going through the same thing we were experiencing) decided to bully us and tell us we were crap, and we believed it. We compared our insides to someone else's outsides that might've been looking pretty good that day, and deemed ourselves unworthy.
The Do's & Don'ts of Dependence
How Should We Manage the Moment?
All of us experience disappointment in life. Sometimes it is profound disappointment and sorrow about issues or people that are dear to our hearts. Yet, encoded into each life experience is a choice. We can choose how we respond, how much meaning to assign to the experience, and select from multiple interpretions of how this relates to us on a personal level.
In our culture, many of us use these dissappointments to keep ourselves down or to hang on to the belief that things never work out for us. Maybe we’ve held on to our stories of abandonment, rejection, betrayal and abuse - seeking to blame others for our pain. When we do this, we unconsciously use these stories to stay small, constricted, and determined to never trust or open our hearts again.
While being true to your emotional state is totally acceptable and even encouraged in the beginning stages of loss, it is toxic, counter-productive and spiritually destructive to pull over and build our emotional house there.
This is particularly true for those with addictive/dependent tendencies.
To help clarify what I'm talking about, I've outlined some Do's and Dont's to offer strategies for your growth and unfoldment:
Page 1 of 5